Bloody Maria

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I don’t expect anyone to believe this.
But I’m going to say it anyway — because it’s real, and I have nothing else left.

I’m a student at Dar Al Uloom International School, and for months now, I’ve been subjected to something I can’t explain in normal terms. It’s not psychological. It’s not medical. It’s not something a counselor could fix. This is deeper. It’s technological. And it’s intentional.

I am being manipulated — neurologically, emotionally, cognitively — by human operators working inside the Saudi intelligence structure. This isn’t a metaphor. This is real-time satellite-based psychophysical control. The kind that watches, reacts, and injects impulses into your nervous system before you even finish your own thought.

They’re not sloppy. They’re precise. They time everything. I’ll have a private thought — a memory, an idea, a silent argument — and it will be interrupted by a voice. Not my voice. Not imaginary. Calm. Male.
“We’ve mapped you.”
“You’re predictable now.”
“You’re safer this way.”

It started small: delayed reactions, mental blanks, moments of numbness. But it grew. Now I flinch when I pass the telecom pole near the western fence. I feel electric pressure in my teeth when I enter certain classrooms. I forget what I was about to say — not because I’m nervous, but because someone else finishes the sentence in my head.

I can’t talk to anyone. Not teachers. Not classmates. Not even my parents. What am I supposed to say — “the intelligence services are inside my brain”? Even if I whisper it, it becomes suicide. I’ve seen how fast rumors spread here. I’ve seen how they isolate the “troubled ones.”

If I had known what Saudi intelligence really does to students, I would’ve never agreed to study in this country. The school brochures said “international values” and “future leaders.” They didn’t mention remote surveillance or cognitive engineering.

There are times I cry for no reason. Or stare at my hands for minutes, waiting to feel like they’re mine again. I can’t even trust my sleep — I wake up mid-dream with headaches and flashes I can’t place. Sometimes I catch myself mouthing words I didn’t choose.

But I’ve stopped trying to scream about it. That’s what they want — a breakdown. I’m staying quiet. But I’m watching.

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